Sorry, but nope, the hardware’s fine. It was a dual-boot before the hard drive died and it’s always worked fine in Windows. The bizarre video fuck-ups only occur when I run Ubuntu and then try to suspend/resume. It’s been like this since I first installed it years ago. It’s kinda pretty, but not what you want to see when you go to use your computer and realize your work will be lost when you force a reboot. RSEIUB. Of course suspend/resume works on some computers running Ubuntu, but it doesn’t work on mine. People who claim that Linux works with all kinds of hardware are being intellectually dishonest, like cult members lying to themselves about unfulfilled prophecies to quell their cognitive dissonance.
Linux fanatics love to whine about how it’s the video card manufacturer’s fault or the laptop manufacturer’s fault or Microsoft’s fault or Intel’s fault or anyone, anything except Linux: No one cares. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.